26th May 2013

Constantly rambling,
Tireless,
Ego-centric,
Mind.

I see you,
not only hear you,
Now.

At first I get upset,
At how you over write,
and over ride,
the real me,
so easily,
and all the time!

But then I smile.

Because even to acknowledge this fact,
I stand and watch you,
while you are still at what you do best.

This realisation,
that at least I have separated,
to realise,
Becomes my strength to try harder,
or less?.

----------------

There have been days when I see everything is nothing and nothing is everything and yet nothing is so far away. I feel I can't breathe. The knowledge becomes painful as it makes everything look futile and pointless. There is no want for anything.
Those days are depressing.
As I feel an endless journey is in front of me. Why? and then nothing is important. I go through the 'so what?' phase.
One day as usual, I sat down and cried not knowing why. Why so disheartened especially when the path is right? And then I questioned that day "Why am I here?", again and again, I asked myself aloud "Why am I here?" with moist eyes. And suddenly I heard myself and it seemed so funny. So funny, like a drama. A drama I had created. There was nothing. Suddenly there was just nothing but this self tickling experience. If someone would have witnessed this, he/she would think I am 'mad' to be crying and suddenly giggling.
I was smiling because I relaised the obvious internally: It was just the mind again....at its best!