4th March 2017

I was about fifteen when I started to question the religion I was born in. I would ask my dad about God. Our family was not very religious. We did our prayers probably once a year on Diwali and then there were the occasional visits to the Gurudwara.  We ate meat, we cut our hair and so there was really no kind of pressure on us kids about religion or God. And maybe that's why, with all this freedom and liberty to question and ask about religion from a very objective perspective, made me think. I don't exactly remember what all I asked about but we discussed Sikh history for sure. One thing I remember very clearly though was that one night frustrated with a lot religions' data (that I was collecting through my dad) I looked at the sky at night, closed my eyes and asked, so who is God and why do have so many religions? The answer that came to me was that we all need a path or a way to live our lives as humanity, be a part of a social group in the best way possible and we want to be happy. These three things give rise to religion, a doctrine we could follow. Then I asked but where is God and how do we know what is right and what is wrong? And the answer in a very obvious innocent way came to me that it was inside us. If we closed our eyes and truly asked ourselves, our conscience knows the answer. We deep inside always know what's good and bad. 'Just like I'm answering my questions myself right now. People are silly to look outside. Or wait is it just me who thinks like this?'
Now I look back and realise how the young mind found it so obvious that God was within us. Unbiased by religion or politics or knowledge even, this conversation with myself was truly amazing. Now I know about spirituality and different sadhus and Gurus and their teachings. But really, what do they all say? In a gist they say, silence the mind, search within and in that present moment you will meet God or your true self or the universe soul. Call it meditation, call it spiritual, make it complicated or just simply put, deep inside we all know! We are all connected and the collective evolved soul can be accessed if we learn how to quiet the mind.

Coincidences

Crazy coincidences 101 is what's going on. At first I'm like 'should I notice this? It's just a coincidence'. But then the events begin to fit in. Not like a jig saw puzzle,  but more like the bars of a ladder. And when you finally see it,  it would be unnatural not to climb it,  not take that leap of faith. Without a doubt, it feels right internally. Well externally, 'externally' is just chaos. Even though the brain makes it look otherwise.
Let's take the example of this, me writing this. An internal feeling sprung up a couple of years back,  not about writing as such but more about 'purpose'. Along with the 'why am I here?' question, a feeling of 'I need to help others, others like the old me' came along.  Old me,  who was unaware, lost in Maya and wanted help, direction and answers. But then the brain would take over despite all the 'oms' and mediations. Creepy little thing would convince me, 'who are you anyways?  Why would anyone listen to you? You don't have the time.' And most dominating thought of all,  which snuck somewhere without even words, was just formless fear, deep primitive: fear of failure.
As if, we really do things for success. But the brain doesn't allow you to go in that direction.
I decided to write. Write I did. It felt good but I still haven't been able to help others. How am I supposed to do that? Silence. Stillness.
I'm going to watch the coincidences and watch them build my ladder. Oh look it has already begun!

No need

Soon I realised,
The power within.
So much to gain,
No need to give in.

Wow I can manifest,
Anything and everything!
Then the miracles continued.
But something was missing.

Searched within.
Searched for the answer.
Then I was light, then love,
Then dived deeper.

Woke up with a smile
What was it again?
Why was I not to create?
Ha ha ofcourse, because,
Really, there is nothing to gain.

When you truly accept,
The here and now,
and are thankful within,
You have reached your tao.

And then there are no wants.
You are content and at peace.
This is all a test,
There is no need to manifest!

Time

"Time is against me"
"This is not the right time "
"Time waits for no one "
We almost make time sound like a person, who is mean and too fast for us. Whereas in reality, if we were to personify it, she would be more of a friend who always is besides us. She walks when we walk. She stops when we stop. She is the 'now'.  She is always holding our hand. If only we could stop the busy clock to look down at our hand and see her's, if only we took back ourselves from our mind's lies, only then we could hear the bells of heaven ring,..only then in that music our hearts would sing. 

careful

Be very careful when you stop thinking,  and start feeling.
You might meet yourself!

June 18, 2013

Satori

For the first time I heard,
Every bird.
The sounds and just that.
No questions, no answers,
Just alertness.

For the first time,
It wasn't about me.
In fact 'I' was no where,
To be seen.

The breeze touched every hair,
every cell,
As if it went right through me.
The silence in the noise,
as if it grew inside me.

I am alive,
In this moment.
Soon I will die,
In the next.
Who am I?

I want to live forever,
Strangely that is already true,
As I have just felt eternity,
In that moment,
When I was one with you. 

June 17, 2013

Nothing

Happiness
was always around me,
And I now I chose to acknowledge it.

I swim through it,
To cross the day.
The same day that was once a wall,
Is a permeable fluid well lit.

Time loses its meaning,
this world fades away,
Yet I cannot say I'm unaware.
In fact it's just the opposite.

When I lie to close my eyes,
And shut the voice,
And clear the visions,
What is left, can only be felt.

It is everything.
It is nothing.

It follows me when I sleep,
It sees me when I bathe.
Its the driver behind the wheel,
It tastes every meal.

It is everything.
It is nothing.